I Need to Leave
by lindseyroehr
Summary: All Julian wanted to do was escape but as always, Logan had to make things much more complicated.   Rated for language


'I need to leave.'

Julian scrambled around his room, shoving all his belongings into a suitcase, that one line echoing through his mind like a broken record. He usually took time to organize his things to fit neatly, but tonight he just couldn't bring himself to care.

'I need to leave.'

Frustrated with his blurry vision, Julian brushed away the offending tears. He couldn't stand it anymore: the way Logan was always too busy chasing after some new boy to ever see what was right in front of him. Even if he did, who was to say that Logan would even like what he saw?

'I need to leave.'

Julian knew he didn't have a chance in hell, but it was about time he embraced that and saved what was left of himself before loving Logan completely tore him apart.

'I need to leave.'  
>It was as simple as that: he had to get out.<p>

In record time, his bags were packed and Julian was trying to sneak out of the house without drawing too much attention to himself. Derek was supposed to be keeping Logan out of the way and Julian had no reason to doubt his abilities.

That was, until he found the aforementioned blonde boy standing by the front doors, looking ready to kill. Julian sighed and dropped his bags; there was no way Logan would make this easy. At least he wouldn't have to find out Julian wasn't planning on coming back. Not until it was too late.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, forcing Julian to refocus his thoughts on the inevitable argument.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, but I have a movie to shoot." Julian forced a smirk and hoped his acting skills would be enough to get him safely out that door. Of course he had nothing to fear; Logan was too dense to notice anything wrong with his friend.

"You just got back."

"Your observational skills astound me, Wright." Julian said, rolling his eyes, "Yes, I just got back from filming something. And now I'm off to film something else. I have a flight to catch, so if you're going to waste my time pointing out obvious things…"

"You said that you needed a break from all the Hollywood drama."

"I got over it. This role is more important than how shallow and petty people can be." Julian stood straight under the blonde's suspicious stare. "Not like it's any better here anyway." He mumbled, glancing toward the ground.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean, Larson?"

"It means that maybe I'd rather deal with all the attention whores in Hollywood than be ignored by my best friend here." Brown eyes stared bitterly into piercing green ones.

"Well sorry not everything here is about you, princess. I have better things to worry about than whether you feel appreciated."

"Oh, I know exactly what 'better' things you have to worry about. How can you get Hummel to fall in love with you? What does the hobbit have that you don't? Everyone here knows what you're so concerned about."

"Well excuse me for actually caring about someone besides myself." Julian couldn't help himself and scoffed, "Yeah, I care about other people. I cared about Blaine, and Joshua, and Kurt. I care about you and Derek."

"Care about _me_? You're kidding, right?" Julian raised an eyebrow, working hard to reign in his emotions; an odd mixture of anger and heartbreak, "You don't know what's going on with me. When was the last time you asked me about my life?" Silence. "Yeah, so do us both a favor and stop pretending you give a rat's ass about me."

"That's not true and you know it. Damn it, Larson. Why do you have to be such a drama queen all the time?" Sometime during their argument, the two Stuarts' voices had risen. Luckily the other residents were used to the noise and didn't come to investigate.

"It's part of the movie star package, I'm afraid." Julian said, returning to the normal volume for a conversation. He forced his body to relax and looked at Logan, "Look, Lo. I'm not trying to start a fight. I'm just going to film another movie, just like all the other times. Don't make this into a big deal."

"Like hell I'm not going to make this into a big deal. The least you could've done was tell me you were leaving." A deep breath. "But it doesn't even matter. You're not leaving. I won't let you."

The too-familiar rush of anger tore through the actor's veins and a multitude of retorts ran through his head as he fought for control. His acting experience was the only thing that allowed him to keep his face impassive except for a single tear trailing unnoticed down his cheek as Logan went to lift his friend's suitcases.

"Too bad it isn't your choice. It's mine." Was all Julian could say and cursed himself instantly as his voice came out sounding choked. Logan looked up at the odd sound of the actor's voice, immediately noticing the wetness on Julian's face. His hand reached up instinctively to wipe the tear away and it was all Julian could do not to lean into the other boy's hand.

It was those casual touches that hurt the most. The bittersweet moments that made Julian's heart stop but also reminded him that Logan would never feel the same. The moments that Julian's world revolved around but would never pop into Logan's thoughts again once he moved his hand.

Suddenly Julian was consumed with the need to make Logan remember him. He needed to give that oblivious blonde a reason to think of him once he left. Without making a conscious decision to do so, the actor was moving toward the boy he had promised himself to never share his feelings with. Not only was he moving toward the other boy, but he was reaching out to caress Logan's face.

There was a brief moment of hesitation during which Julian started to realize what he was doing and then the brunette moved his hand to the back of Logan's head, bringing the two boys' lips crashing together.

It started off gentle, but quickly became more passionate as Julian realized that Logan was actually responding in a way that didn't involve him being forcefully thrown into the nearest piece of furniture. Julian wasn't particularly religious, but if this was what heaven was like, he would gladly spend eternity there. The feeling of Logan's soft lips moving heatedly against his and the blonde's hands on his hips was like a drug. Now that he had gotten a taste, Julian would surely be craving it.

The kiss lasted for a long minute until Julian's thoughts caught up with his actions. His mouth instantly stilled and he opened his eyes to find green ones staring into the depths of his own. Logan opened his mouth to say something, but Julian just shook his head.

"I need to leave." He said and all Logan could do was watch as his best friend picked up his suitcases and walked out the door.

**A/N:** I'm not promising an update anytime soon. This took me almost 3 weeks to get motivated to finish. Plus I'm going on vacation for a week and not bringing my laptop so it might be another month before the next part is up. Ha. I post drabbles on my Tumblr (toomuchwastedtime) if you're super interested.


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